Myth: Suicide Is Selfish
People who die by suicide are not considering how their death will impact us or our grief, personally or societally. Their reasons for dying seem more pressing.
Fact: People Who Attempt and Die by Suicide See Things Differently
Sometimes, we believe, people become cognitively constricted. Literally, their ability to consider options is limited. It can be that they won’t be able to consider others. In most cases, however, the situation they are experiencing is so painful or hopeless that it may overwhelm their assessment of our concerns.
They may also assess that their death would be a relief of a burden to others. Belief in one’s burdensomeness is an identified factor in Thomas Joiner’s The Interpersonal Theory of Suicide.
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Losing someone to suicide certainly feels selfish from the perspective of the bereaved. The question is why didn’t they stay “for me?” They place their value against the scale of pain, suffering, and burden the suicidal person was feeling and find that they’ve come up lacking. This is a natural, normal reaction.
However, it seems that the person who dies by suicide often does not fully process the situation. The construct of cognitive constriction has been proposed as a mechanism that prevents suicidal individuals from fully considering the impact of their act.
Evidence
It’s not possible to interview those who have died, but we can survey those who have attempted and lived. Often, these individuals describe their cognitive constriction or their pain.
In Support of the Myth
None identified.
To Refute the Myth
"The role of irrational thinking in suicidal behavior" (2012)
Argues that people who are suicidal are largely displaying various forms of irrationality.
Includes this myth.
Explains the driver of pain as a part of suicide.
Ten Commonalities of Suicide includes “7. Common perceptual state in suicide is constriction.”
Unclear or Mixed Support
None identified.
Learn more about suicide myths – and the truths behind them – by following the links below.